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The Jacket

on June 2, 2014

Well….I haven’t been blogging these last few weeks like I thought I would/wanted. The last few weeks of training didn’t really go as planned, but I kept plugging away. Our son’s graduation day and party came and went, and suddenly, here was marathon day. Today.

I went up to Minneapolis to my sister’s place. We had lunch, went to the Expo and saw our cousin, met up with our other sister and had supper. I was so excited, and yet so nervous. What if the last few weeks affected me negatively? But then again, I know that I was properly trained. I knew I trained better than last time.

I could hardly sleep Saturday night. I knew it was coming, the rain, as it had been raining a lot of Saturday afternoon and evening. But when I woke up at 2:40am Sunday morning, it wasn’t raining. I was so thankful that it wasn’t raining. My sister and I left, she was volunteering at the finish line, and it didn’t rain at all on the way to the race. I parked, found the shuttle bus to the start and pretty much as soon as I got on, it started to rain. I did not care about the rain, to be honest, it was all the lightning that I didn’t like. It was the lightning that scared me. I can run in rain. Even a marathon….I would deal with it for 26.2 miles, I was just praying for the lightning to stop.

We got to the start and were told that the race was delayed an hour. I was fine with that because of course we were all hoping it would pass through. There was going to be a meeting at 7am with race officials, police, sheriff, public safety, and weather officials to make a determination on the race. When it got to be about 7:10 and I hadn’t heard anything, I decided to walk up to the start just in case. If it was still going to go on, then I needed to get mentally prepared again.

I found the pace group I wanted to run with and we were all talking about what was going to happen….wondering if we’d be able to have the race. I was getting really nervous….nervous that we wouldn’t be able to run the full, and also nervous if we did because I felt a little out of sorts at that point. However, I wanted to run so badly that I didn’t care if I felt out of sorts, so I focused in on my task at hand. Running and finishing my marathon.

Suddenly, we saw a bunch of people from the front walking toward the back. A man ahead of me said he thought the race was canceled. I looked to my right and there was a girl standing off to the side and she looked at her friend who was standing in front of me and she told her a guy ran by her and said it was cancelled. I walked up to her and asked her to repeat that. She did and I walked around in a daze. And I started to cry.

I wasn’t mad at the team that made the decision. I actually respected the decision and appreciated the fact that they were putting safety first for all involved. But I was sad that I wasn’t able to complete the race. I was sad that after all the training, I wasn’t able to put it all to the test. Even though I was nervous about the race, I was so very excited to get out there and run this marathon. And suddenly, it was all over.

I’m doing better tonight. Again, I agree with the decision….there are worse things in the world than a race being cancelled…I’m not the only one who trained and didn’t get to run…I’m not the only one disappointed. And yes, there will be other races.

All in all, I felt my training went well, with the exception of the last month, but even then when it was tough, I didn’t give up or quit. I am proud of myself for completing the training. I am proud of myself for sticking to it, even modified at times, when the going got tough.

And one thing that got me crying agin tonight, was when I held up my MARATHON FINISHER jacket to my son. Here is the conversation that followed:

Me: (holding up the jacket) I can’t wear this.

Nick: Why not?

Me: Because I didn’t finish!

Nick: That doesn’t matter.

Me: Ummm…yes it does.

Nick: Well you would have finished if you had gotten to run it.

Me: Yeah, but it’s not the same.

Nick: Mom, finishing isn’t always just one day. It’s all the days you trained, all the days you worked hard. You earned the jacket.

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4 responses to “The Jacket

  1. MG says:

    Yes, a perfect response from Nick. Well done on all your hard work and dedication these last months.

  2. Nick is so right. You earned that jacket through the hundreds of miles you’ve put in in preparation. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, and it may never, but you did earn it. Hugs, mama.

  3. Your son is wise and very correct. I can’t imagine the disappointment you felt. Look at it like this, next time you’ll be more than ready to train and more than ready to run 26.2!!! Then you’ll be a marathon rockstar. blessed & beautiful running. 🙂

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